Change change change

Sorry for the lack of posts. May through August has been a very busy time. If you would like to read the full details you can find them on my other blog (see the link on the right).
Things have been going well. I had my last plastic surgery in June and I am very pleased with the final results. The weather has been very hot so its been nice to wear tank tops with no bra :). My hair is growing very well, soft and very curly but lots of gray :( I saw my oncologist in June. She is very pleaased with how I'm doing. She loves my reconstruction! She said it's the best she's ever seen...Yeah!!! She gave me the go ahead to get my hair colored...yeah squared! I already had an appointment scheduled just in case. Now that my hair looks like a cute very short cut I can stop wearing my wig, hats, and scarves. Again with the heat this has been nice.
Speaking of the heat oh what fun the hot flashes have been!!! I seem to sweat a lot more anyway but during a hot flash omg! I'm covered in a damp film and dripping down my forehead and back...oh so very attractive. Then my arms and legs start itching and its a prickly stinging feeling. I need to call my oncologist to see if it is possibly caused by the Tamoxifen.
So it is actually one year ago today that I received my biopsy results. In some ways it seems like yesterday but in most ways it seems much longer. While thinking about that this morning I realized out of all the diseases I have fought the cancer has been the shortest battle. I have been at war with Crohns disease for about 26 years now. The Hepatitis C from my blood transfusion was a 2 year battle (however I had it, without my knowledge, for 15 years). After knowing for certain on August 23rd, the cancer was only in my body for 1 month and 29 days and the actual battle ended with my last chemo on February 8th 2011. Thats 5 months and 16 days. Even if you count the 5 years I will be on the Tamoxifen (which is not a battle. It is preventive medicine). It is still a much shorter battle than the Crohns!
xoxo

Follow Ups

Sorry for the lack of updates. That cold really knocked me down. My doc. gave me an antibiotic and cough medicine which helped a lot. I’m feeling much better except for the hot flashes and panic attacks in the middle of the night…oh Tamoxifen I wish you weren’t so cruel !

I did have some follow up appointments with my oncologist and my breast surgeon and my plastic surgeon . They all went very well. The oncologist is happy with my recovery from the chemo and me tolerating the Tamoxifen (when I had my appointment I wasn’t having the panic attacks. I’ll be sure to mention that next time. The breast surgeon was also pleased with how well I am doing. Now for the plastic surgeon…while he is happy with the healing I still have extra skin on the sides and the right side is still smaller. You guessed it, this means more surgery (hopefully the last!). I’m scheduled for June 15th so I’ll try to post before that. We are in the middle of a remodeling project that decided to start on its own!!! I’m going a bit crazy with that. Dirt and plaster everywhere. YIKES. I’m going to have to move in with my niece during my recovery.

xoxo

Darn!

Well I had my 3 week post-op appointment after my swap surgery and it looks like I may have to have some touchups done. Some of the extra skin is just not falling into place and therefore I have these small but annoying bulges off to the sides below my armpits. As per Dr. Jiffy Boobs instructions I have been massaging the areas to help smooth them out. I don’t think its very noticeable to anyone when I’m clothed, unless they are really examining the shape of my boobs (and if they are they deserve the ewwww that they get). Right now when I go out I wear one of my old bras. I took the underwires out of them (they are a no no). The bra hides the bulges and gives me a more natural shape. Yes that’s right my “old” bras!!! Even though I wanted to downsize I seem to be about the same size??? I think I look smaller but I guess not. Maybe because they aren’t saggy and they are up higher that makes them look smaller. I don’t know but I can tell you one thing… Ya know how your bra straps usually dig into your shoulders…well now that the bra isn’t really holding them up my straps keep falling off my shoulder.

I’ve been exercising and my arms are getting stronger and I’m getting my range of motion back. It still always hurts more on the right side and my left side is definitely stronger. I’m not exhausted all the time either which is wonderful. I still overdo it sometimes but it is getting easier and easier to do more things.

I’m still having lots and lots of hot flashes. It’s been very cold here which doesn’t seem to stop baseball coaches from playing games. So I have sat at 5 games so far in layers and layers of shirts, sweatshirts, and jackets and surprisingly enough I don’t have the hot flashes when I’m that cold. At one game I did but it felt good (for once). It warmed me up for a few minutes :) My head gets very cold. I have to wear a skull cap and at least two hats and then I also put my hood up.

My hair is starting to grow back in and it seems to be coming in straight and soft. Not course like everyone said it would. The best news is that it is coming back in dark…Yeah. Especially on the sides. I see gray on the top but right now it doesn’t look like much more gray than I had before and of course as soon as I can I will be dyeing it!

I go back to Jiffy Boob in early May so if I have to have more surgery it will be after that. I need to have my 6 month follow up with the surgeon in April but (if I can) I might try to schedule it the same day as Jiffy Boob.

More baseball today and right now it is 29 degrees…buuuuurrrrrr. Send me warm thoughts.

Xoxo

Swap!

Exchange, change, trade, switch, substitute….

If you haven’t guessed already I had my swap surgery about 2 weeks ago. It went very well. I was originally supposed to stay overnight but I was allowed to come home the same day :) It was a much easier surgery and no drains!!! I never even asked the doctor if I would have drains, I just assumed that I would. I was very happy to be wrong. Like I said it went very well. I wasn’t even that uncomfortable when I got home. Of course I was taking pain pills! I could definitely tell the expanders were gone. The implants are much more comfortable, softer. I was required to wear the very attractive and oh so uncomfortable compression bra yippie! I was told to leave it intact until my follow up appointment in one week :( This was disappointing…I wanted to see how they looked sooooooooo after a few days I peeked hee hee. I just kinda pulled different areas of the bra away from the boobs. I couldn’t really see that much but I could see that the cleavage was much nicer (not as wide). I was disappointed to see there was still some extra skin on each side. Hubby seemed to think it was just swelling. I went for my follow up and got to take the bra off. When I told him that I hadn’t really seen them yet he asked why. I told him that the discharge nurse said not to take the bra off. He said well they are yours you are allowed to look at them! Hahaha! Upon examination there was still swelling but there also is some extra skin. Dr. Jiffy Boob told me I need to massage it every day. I did some research and read that after about six weeks everything should fall into place so to speak. I’ve already noticed improvement since last week. I have to do my stretching exercises again. I’ve lost some range of motion. He gave me the green light to use my 3 lb weights while walking on the treadmill. I’m so glad to be able to exercise again. I’m tired of being a couch potato. I’ve got to get these arms into shape for the tank top summer coming up. What am I saying…I’m already wearing tank tops. I’ve started taking the tamoxifen and I am having hot hot hot flashes (I’m having one right now). I don’t know how I’m going to get through all the baseball games. I go back to see Dr. Jiffy Boob next week. Hopefully he will be happy with my settling process. I hope everything falls into place…I don’t want to have more surgery…but I will if I have to. I’ve gone through a lot for these Ta Ta’s. I want them to look their best.

Speaking of baseball, B has his first scrimmage game today on the high schools brand new turf field. I am so excited but I know I’m going to have to dress in layers. The high today is 41 and it is always very windy at the field. I have to dress warm but when I have hot flashes it will be awful. I’ll be peeling layers off and then putting them back on only to peel them off again. I know one thing for sure, I won’t be wearing my wig. I don’t want it to blow off :) Hats are the plan for baseball games. J went on his spring baseball trip to FL. The team did very well, 6-2. He has a double header today (away). His first home game is Friday. I’m looking forward to going to that.

My hair is starting to grow back. It is still very fine like peach fuzz. So far it is still dark Yeah! So many people have told me that their hair came back all gray. I already had some gray hair so I know that will be back and I did dye it and will dye it again as soon as I have too!!! The hair on my legs is also coming back. I have to shave about once a week. So far no armpit hair!!! I wouldn’t mind if that didn’t come back!

Well I’m going to relax before the game….GO TEAM(s)
xoxo

Looking Back!

Yesterday it was 6 months since I received my biopsy results. In some ways it feels longer than that. So many tears at first. The recovery from the surgery is foggy but went very well and seemed to go quickly (I'm sure the pain medication helped). I think the chemo is what made it feel so long. That was just awful. Looking back it really did go quickly. Some people have a much longer more difficult road with their cancer. I know I still have another stretch of road to getting my strength and energy back. There will also be the recovery from the swap surgery but I think and pray that that will be easier than the mastectomy surgery. It certainly is more exciting. If I had a choice I would certainly choose no cancer over new perky boobs but if I have to have cancer I’ll take the new perky boobs too :) I have learned some things too. I always knew that my family was wonderful. They have taken such good care of me and given me so much love and support. My heart breaks for people who do not have family in good and bad times. I have been surprised to learn some things about friendship. There are the close, very good friends who have been so wonderful and supportive. There are the close, very good friends who I really thought would be there for me but have seemed to disappear. I don’t blame them for this. Cancer is a very difficult thing to face for many reasons and not just for the person who has it. I will always consider them friends and if they reappear I will welcome them back with open arms. There are the friends who maybe you haven’t known as long or been as close to that surprise you with so much love and support. Then there are the new friends who I have been so fortunate to meet. Who I would have not had the opportunity to know if I hadn’t had cancer. Some of them will be my friends forever. Some I may never see again but we shared some time together and shared our experiences. I will always consider them friends and I will remember them forever. Now that I am a survivor I look forward to spending more time with all my wonderful family and friends and making even more friends along the way.
xoxo

Adios Chemo…Hello Boobies!

Well hello everyone. Its been a while since I’ve posted and a lot is happening. I had my last chemo on Feb. 8th and I’m happy to report that it went well just like the one before. I can’t tell you how good it feels to know that I don’t have to have anymore. With the first three chemos the side effects seemed so much worse because all I could think about was how I can’t do this again. After this last one I felt like I could deal with the side effects better because I knew that I wouldn’t have to do it again. Right now all the major side effects are gone. I am just left with exhaustion and very weak muscles. My last blood work was ok except for low iron. I go back to see the oncologist in April so if I’m not back to normal levels she will probably want me to have an iron infusion again. I am supposed to start the Tamoxifen next week. I’ve already been having hot flashes since the chemo and one of the side effects of Tamoxifen is hot flashes. I think its going to be a long summer. I am hoping to start easing back into my walking and exercising routine this week. I had a jiffy boob appointment today and had my 7th and final fill. I will have my swap (expanders for implants) surgery next Wednesday March 2nd. I can’t believe its time already. It will be so nice to get these expanders out. I’m told that my hair should start growing back around a month after the last chemo which will be next week. I was mostly wearing hats around the house but now I’ve mastered tying a scarf so I’ve been wearing them a lot. I wear the wig when I go out and everyone who doesn’t know about the chemo can’t even tell I’m wearing a wig. Everyone who does know is amazed how good the wig looks. I’m glad I went with the more expensive one because not only does it look nice it is comfortable. Well I’m starting to get uncomfortable from the jiffy boob filling so I’m going to relax now and maybe take a nap :) I will let you know how the swap surgery goes and how my new boobs look Yippie!

xoxo

3 Down 1 To Go!

I had my third chemo and yeah it went better than the last two. I had the same amount of heartburn, muscle and joint pain, and exhaustion. My blood pressure, heart rate, and temperature all elevated. I waited on pins and needles for the horrible diarrhea to start and right on schedule it seemed to be starting (Sunday night and Monday morning). I followed my oncologist’s instructions and the week after the chemo (the Monday that the diarrhea was increasing) I went in for fluids. I was feeling horrible as usual and not looking forward to the week of running to the bathroom and going back for more needle sticks and more fluid. Then…Monday afternoon and evening seemed normal. Wow could it be…no I won’t get my hopes up. I went to see the oncologist on Tuesday and still so far that morning things were good. We were both very excited so we canceled the fluids for the rest of the week and waited. If the diarrhea increased again I needed to call and come in for fluids. Praise the Lord it did not increase and I actually feel good and my next and last chemo isn’t till Feb. 8th. Oh please let that one go as well!

I went to the Look Good Feel Better class offered by the American Cancer Society. It was wonderful and I highly recommend it for anyone who is going through cancer treatment. It was a small class of only 4 ladies and we each got a tote full of beauty products that were donated by many well known cosmetic companies. We went through the steps of cleansing, moisturizing, applying makeup, nail and skin care, and then learned about wigs and tying scarves. There were wigs and scarves and hats to try on. All in all it was very fun and informative. I can tell you tho that I am very glad that (so far) I haven’t completely lost my eyebrows. They are much thinner but I still have enough. Why am I so glad about that??? I am very very very bad at drawing on eyebrows!
xoxo