Swap!

Exchange, change, trade, switch, substitute….

If you haven’t guessed already I had my swap surgery about 2 weeks ago. It went very well. I was originally supposed to stay overnight but I was allowed to come home the same day :) It was a much easier surgery and no drains!!! I never even asked the doctor if I would have drains, I just assumed that I would. I was very happy to be wrong. Like I said it went very well. I wasn’t even that uncomfortable when I got home. Of course I was taking pain pills! I could definitely tell the expanders were gone. The implants are much more comfortable, softer. I was required to wear the very attractive and oh so uncomfortable compression bra yippie! I was told to leave it intact until my follow up appointment in one week :( This was disappointing…I wanted to see how they looked sooooooooo after a few days I peeked hee hee. I just kinda pulled different areas of the bra away from the boobs. I couldn’t really see that much but I could see that the cleavage was much nicer (not as wide). I was disappointed to see there was still some extra skin on each side. Hubby seemed to think it was just swelling. I went for my follow up and got to take the bra off. When I told him that I hadn’t really seen them yet he asked why. I told him that the discharge nurse said not to take the bra off. He said well they are yours you are allowed to look at them! Hahaha! Upon examination there was still swelling but there also is some extra skin. Dr. Jiffy Boob told me I need to massage it every day. I did some research and read that after about six weeks everything should fall into place so to speak. I’ve already noticed improvement since last week. I have to do my stretching exercises again. I’ve lost some range of motion. He gave me the green light to use my 3 lb weights while walking on the treadmill. I’m so glad to be able to exercise again. I’m tired of being a couch potato. I’ve got to get these arms into shape for the tank top summer coming up. What am I saying…I’m already wearing tank tops. I’ve started taking the tamoxifen and I am having hot hot hot flashes (I’m having one right now). I don’t know how I’m going to get through all the baseball games. I go back to see Dr. Jiffy Boob next week. Hopefully he will be happy with my settling process. I hope everything falls into place…I don’t want to have more surgery…but I will if I have to. I’ve gone through a lot for these Ta Ta’s. I want them to look their best.

Speaking of baseball, B has his first scrimmage game today on the high schools brand new turf field. I am so excited but I know I’m going to have to dress in layers. The high today is 41 and it is always very windy at the field. I have to dress warm but when I have hot flashes it will be awful. I’ll be peeling layers off and then putting them back on only to peel them off again. I know one thing for sure, I won’t be wearing my wig. I don’t want it to blow off :) Hats are the plan for baseball games. J went on his spring baseball trip to FL. The team did very well, 6-2. He has a double header today (away). His first home game is Friday. I’m looking forward to going to that.

My hair is starting to grow back. It is still very fine like peach fuzz. So far it is still dark Yeah! So many people have told me that their hair came back all gray. I already had some gray hair so I know that will be back and I did dye it and will dye it again as soon as I have too!!! The hair on my legs is also coming back. I have to shave about once a week. So far no armpit hair!!! I wouldn’t mind if that didn’t come back!

Well I’m going to relax before the game….GO TEAM(s)
xoxo

Adios Chemo…Hello Boobies!

Well hello everyone. Its been a while since I’ve posted and a lot is happening. I had my last chemo on Feb. 8th and I’m happy to report that it went well just like the one before. I can’t tell you how good it feels to know that I don’t have to have anymore. With the first three chemos the side effects seemed so much worse because all I could think about was how I can’t do this again. After this last one I felt like I could deal with the side effects better because I knew that I wouldn’t have to do it again. Right now all the major side effects are gone. I am just left with exhaustion and very weak muscles. My last blood work was ok except for low iron. I go back to see the oncologist in April so if I’m not back to normal levels she will probably want me to have an iron infusion again. I am supposed to start the Tamoxifen next week. I’ve already been having hot flashes since the chemo and one of the side effects of Tamoxifen is hot flashes. I think its going to be a long summer. I am hoping to start easing back into my walking and exercising routine this week. I had a jiffy boob appointment today and had my 7th and final fill. I will have my swap (expanders for implants) surgery next Wednesday March 2nd. I can’t believe its time already. It will be so nice to get these expanders out. I’m told that my hair should start growing back around a month after the last chemo which will be next week. I was mostly wearing hats around the house but now I’ve mastered tying a scarf so I’ve been wearing them a lot. I wear the wig when I go out and everyone who doesn’t know about the chemo can’t even tell I’m wearing a wig. Everyone who does know is amazed how good the wig looks. I’m glad I went with the more expensive one because not only does it look nice it is comfortable. Well I’m starting to get uncomfortable from the jiffy boob filling so I’m going to relax now and maybe take a nap :) I will let you know how the swap surgery goes and how my new boobs look Yippie!

xoxo

The Post I Forgot to Post!?!

I started this post after Christmas and then forgot to post it (chemo brain) so here it is :)
Once again this is on both blogs :p

Being home and hydrated made me feel very good. I haven’t had much energy but I also haven’t had much pain and I’m back to my normal for me poo routine. The fistula has also been behaving.

My hair started falling out (2 weeks after 1st chemo) so we had a little buzz cut event. My boys already have buzz cuts and B and J’s friend Jeff needed a trim so J buzzed Jeff first and then B. Then off with my hair :( but I have to say it doesn’t look that bad. J already looks a lot like me and now we look like twins hahaha. We took pictures but I don’t think I’ll post those. I went to pick up my wig the next day and it is wonderful. The color and style are just like my real hair. People will never guess it is a wig (if they don’t already know that is)

I was very disappointed to miss my beautiful niece CSD’s wedding. I just wasn’t feeling well enough and my doctors don’t want me to be around any large crowds to prevent being exposed to germs. Thankfully I have the most wonderful family in the world. My niece CRSA and my sister CAE sent me pictures during the ceremony and reception….THEN my amazing, beautiful, wonderful niece and brand new bride CSD, brand new hubby N, and her Mom (sister CAE) came to my house on Christmas Eve to reenact the wedding reception. With the wedding dress on, Mother of the bride dress on, bouquets in hand; they came down my staircase escorted by my son (in shorts and a tee-shirt hahaha.) I cried! I also dressed for the occasion and wore my wig. They brought a center piece, snacks, cookies, and cake. We took lots and lots of pictures, and then we ate, and the bride and groom cut the cake. My beautiful niece KRS and brother RJS and sister in law RJS were also in attendance. I can’t even find the words to express how wonderful and special this day was for me. I love you all so much xoxo.

I finished my online Christmas shopping but everyone got a lot less than normal. They weren’t disappointed tho because they are wonderful. Hubby wrapped everything for me on Christmas Eve evening…nothing like waiting till the last min. (of course I do that just about every Christmas ;) This year we did a 2 fishes Christmas Eve Dinner (as opposed to the 7 fishes). Christmas morning was very nice. We opened our presents and then went to CRA’s for a wonderful Christmas morning breakfast. The rest of the day was relaxing. Hubby cooked a nice Christmas Ham dinner and we watched our boys play Wii. I use to be good at these games but apparently it’s not like riding a bicycle!

xoxoxoxoxo
Love, Laugh, and Always know where the nearest bathroom is

Think Again

(This post will appear on both my blogs…so if you follow both you only need to read this one today :)

The bad days after chemo continued with all the aches and pains and constant diarrhea, bleeding, and fistula problems. On Sunday my temperature was back up to 101.5 and my heart rate was high. My hubby called the oncologist on call and he of course wanted me to go to the emergency room. So off I went thinking they would draw some blood, check me out, and send me home…Think again!!! Not only was my temp. and heart rate elevated, my blood pressure was high also. Their major concerns were of course infection. They put me on a heart monitor, drew lots of blood, started me on fluids, and did a chest x-ray. The next concern was “did the chemo flare the crohns?” If you haven’t guessed already they admitted me. They said they wanted to keep an eye on me for the next 24 hours. They gave me an IV antibiotic and settled me into a room and hung an isolation sign on the door…no germs in…no germs out! They increased the dose of Flagel. Clear liquids only and a pelvic CT Scan in the morning. They also hung another sigh behind me to alert other nurses



A precaution due to the lack of lymph nodes in both upper arms

I got absolutely no sleep that night. My IV pump (aka Fabio)





KAS don't look at the next picture :)




was SO LOUD. If I had something nearby resembling a baseball bat I would have beat the crap out of it. Around 4:00am I finally just turned the TV on. Early Monday I had my CT Scan and was expecting to get some real food but they still had me on clear liquids. When the GI from my group who was doing rounds and who I didn’t like at all came in (not my GI by the way) she was #1 rude to my husband and #2 gave me a hard time about letting me have a general or even a soft diet. Lets see…you want the diarrhea to go away but if all that goes in is liquid then ummmm what do you think is going to come out??? Besides that I know my body better than anyone esp. someone who has only looked at me for 5 minutes. I could see if I were in pain or had no appetite. She finally agreed to let me try a general diet and if things got worse I would have to go back to liquids. So she leaves and guess what??? She doesn’t write the order for a general diet. The nurse was wonderful. She kept trying to call and get an order. Of course the beotch would not call back. Four calls and hours later another doctor from the group called back and gave her the order. He said start with a general and if I have a problem tweak it. THANK YOU. In the mean time many other doctors came in, my PCP, the infectious disease doctor, and oncologist who all agreed I needed to stay another day. My white count was high but that was most likely due to the chemo. My potassium was low so they gave me some to drink :( Now if you’ve never had liquid potassium you’re lucky because it tastes like crap. After gagging my way through I got about ¾’s of it down.

Fluids, fluids, and more fluids = lots of peeing. Hubby brought me my iPod so that I could plug my ears with Christmas music during the night (to drown out Fabio). It worked…I slept very well. Tuesday was another full day of IV fluids. Fabio and I are becoming very close…he follows me around everywhere. They are still waiting on blood work results to rule out certain infections. The GI beotch doctor hasn’t been back, just her PA who is very nice. They are leaning towards this not being a crohns flare but just a bad time with the chemo. But just to be sure they want me to have a pelvic ultrasound tomorrow…yes another night with Fabio. The fluids have been very helpful. I haven’t had any muscle or bone pain since they started them. I definitely was severely dehydrated. I slept well again with my Christmas music. Wednesday morning I went down for the ultrasound. It turns out the CT Scan showed a little something something near the uterus and they wanted a closer look. Well if they would have said something I could have told them it was probably the same little something they saw on my CT Scan in the spring which turned out to be fluid in my fallopian tube…that’s exactly what it was. The infectious disease doctor came in and said I was negative for all the infections they were testing for but thought they might keep me for a few more days. NOOOOOOOO. My oncologist came in and decided that she did not want me to have the port put in. She is going to reduce the dose of chemo and have me come in early that day and if I appear to be dehydrated again they will give me fluids and if need be more fluids between then and the next chemo. If however I have another bad time with the chemo they will probably not do anymore. Then my PCP came in and said I could go home YAY. I got myself dressed and waited for my discharge instructions and the nurse says your potassium is still low so after I get that for you you can go. NOOOOOOO…she comes back with a pill…are you kidding me…this comes in a pill??? Where was your stupid pill a few days ago when I was gagging??? I took it and then on my way to Home Sweet Home!!!

Xoxoxo
Love, Laugh, and Always know where the nearest bathroom is

99.9%

First let me just say that if you are reading this and you have the exact same Breast Cancer diagnosis, surgery, reconstruction, and treatment I am 99.9% sure you will not have the same experience as me. I have the unfortunate complication of having Crohns Disease and all ITS complications.

I am 99.9% sure I am going to look wicked cute in my new wig…broke but cute. Yes wigs are expensive, especially real hair ones but since I will be wearing it for a year or more I want it to last. I went for a fitting and tried on several wigs. Including a blonde one :) (I have very dark hair, almost black) Needless to say the blonde one did NOT look good!!! I would never do that anyways because I love my dark hair. The wig master has ordered my wig, it will be a similar style and color to how I wear my real locs. All the wigs arrive long and are styled at the second fitting. I go on Tuesday. I will post a pic.

I am also 99.9% sure that this past Thursday and Friday were the worst days of my life!!! I had my first chemo on Monday. The treatment itself went very well. My hubby and sister CAE were there with me. I took my pink snuggie which I started having all my loved ones sign.

a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQwQhsPNKN-M9M8X02eWS1aER33TcWhxnHY2nufyyEn1w39zP7oiY_NBWMMgloiVgk_6P0GmJmWxXIdhjIhLsm-9F9y9IE-KQn6qmVDFr9gPKezE5KCQaPNRzLJ-xb_uCFfTaRuZpPuVoL/s1600/1206001057.jpg">

We were there about 4 hours. I don’t have my port in yet so the nurse started an IV in my left arm. (Warning KAS…scroll past this picture)



I was very tired that day and the next and I had an increase in diarrhea. Then Wed. night I started to feel horrible, even more diarrhea now and the constant diarrhea seemed to flare the fistula. That night every inch of my body hurt. It was like tiny shards of glass racing through my body stabbing me. The pain and diarrhea and and fistula flare continued Thurs. which was the day I had a consult appointment with the surgeon who was suppose to put the chemo port in the next day. My heart rate was high and I had a slight temperature so needless to say they postponed that procedure until December 28th before my 2nd chemo. Friday the muscle and joint pain eased up a little but I had bouts of nausea and esophageal spasms and stomach/intestinal cramping. It felt like my entire digestive tract was in a knot. I’ve continued to have moderate diarrhea with occasional spasms. The fistula is starting to feel better but is still making it clear that he is there and not going anywhere. I have a call in to my GI (who won’t be back in the office till Monday) and I’ve spoken to the oncologist (the surgeon called her too) I’ll have my blood checked on Monday and see the oncologist on Tuesday. My temp. is back to normal and my heart rate has lowered. I’m hoping I’m on my way back to feeling normal (for me) for the next few weeks before I have to go through it all over again.

xoxoxoxo

I don’t know when I’ve felt so popular!

Take a look at my week ahead:
Saturday – Wig consultation.
Monday – 1st Chemo (Today)
Tuesday – Dr. Jiffy Boob
Thursday – Consult w the surgeon who is putting in my chemo port
Friday – Chemo port outpatient surgery
Friday night - Highlight of my week *drum roll please* Christmas Movie night with us girls :)YAY

There is something wrong with this picture tho. I have to drag myself out to all these doctors and places. Wouldn’t it be easier for them to all come to me? I could just sit in a nice comfy chair and yell NEXT…see how they like sitting in a waiting room waiting for me bahhhahahaha. No Sweetpea there is no Santa Claus who will bring doctors to you. Even if there were they would just clog up your chimney and there would be all kinds of nasty needles and shiny torture tools clanking onto the hearth.

Well this past week wasn’t real great. I had my first of two iron infusions on Monday. It went well and wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. They set me up in a nice recliner and started me on an IV drip. Then the nurse came over and slowly pushed the Iron right into the vein. It just felt cold. I hung around for about 10 minutes to make sure there were no adverse reactions and I was on my way. So what does a girl do after an Iron infusion??? Shop! My sister and I went shopping for hats for my hairless days. I found some very cute ones too. I was pretty exhausted when I got home but felt pretty good otherwise…till the next day. Double Wow muscle and joint pain…Ouch. It was the worst in my right hip and it lasted for two days and contrary to popular belief the iron did not give me a wonderful feeling of more energy. I did however start feeling better just in time for my second infusion on Thursday. The good news is so far I haven’t had the muscle or joint pain and I do have a feeling that today I may have more energy than before…but then again it is only 10:00 am…I’m still hopeful tho :)

In an effort to not be so whiny I must say that things do seem to be coming along. I’ve been doing my finger crawl exercises up the wall and I can almost get my arms all the way up. I’m really not having any pain under my left arm anymore and a lot less pain under my right arm. When I start to do too much the pain under the right arm gets worse so I STOP :) I am getting use to the expanders too. They don’t feel as strange or as uncomfortable as before. Sleeping….well let’s not go there yet! So I will blog again with you soon and let you know how all this other stuff goes.

xoxoxoxo

Good Days and Bad Ones

I had a very busy couple days this week…since we last talked I’ve had my second jiffy boob appointment. The second fill went well. He didn’t pour the saline all over me this time :) I can definitely see some puffy little boobs forming. However one is filling up higher than the other :/ I know this is normal and they will eventually match. I still can’t really feel anything but some tightness while he is filling. Fortunately my right side is numb where the port is so the needle doesn’t hurt going in. Unfortunately the left side isn’t numb and does hurt blah. After this fill there seems to be a little less skin under the arms so that is more comfortable. I still have a hard time sleeping and found that sleeping on the living room couch is the most comfortable for now.

Last week I called to make my next appointment with the oncologist (she wanted to see me a week after my PET CT) but her office said she wasn’t available till the 12th of December. She (the doctor) called me back that afternoon and said to come to her office right after my PET CT and she would squeeze me in even if they had to page her during her rounds. She said she wanted to keep a close watch over me and boy is she. I haven’t even started my chemo yet! I had my PET CT on Wed. (the 24th) which took about an hour and a half then I went to see the oncologist. I was surprised to get in quickly but I had to wait a long time because she wanted to get the results of the PET CT before I left. They didn’t have a preliminary report ready so she called and told them she wanted it read NOW. We waited for them to call back and Praise the Lord it was clear. I am so relieved.

My blood work showed that my iron is low so I have to go on Monday and Thursday for an iron infusion. I also have to have the picc-line put in ASAP. I tried to schedule that when I got home from my appointment but they were gone and closed till after the holiday. They won’t be back in the office till Monday. I called the oncologists office and they are going to call on Monday to get it set up. The plan is to get all that done next week and start the chemo on December 6th. She wrote out all my scripts which included the Flagel for the fistula, a drug for nausea, the steroid to take the day before the day of and the day after the chemo, some Ativan to help me relax, and a cranial prosthesis aka wig :/ So that was a very very long day and by the time I got home I was so exhausted and in a good bit of pain. This upset me a lot because it was my babies 18th birthday and I was not able to celebrate it at all. I was curled up in a ball on my couch and the more I thought about it the more upset I got. If all that wasn’t bad enough I started to cry and hoped that B didn’t hear me but he did. He sat and hugged me for a while and that helped a lot but I still felt so bad that I couldn’t celebrate and on top of that I was sitting there crying. Hubby did go get him a cake and we sort of sang (he didn’t really want us to) and then we had cake. That horrible day was followed by Thanksgiving. J was home from school and I felt better but not great. Wonderful hubsie cooked the entire dinner (thankfully he is a good cook ;) and it was wonderful. Then the four of us watched some movies including Elf (one of my favorite Christmas movies). It was a wonderful day! I know I will continue to have good days and bad days but no matter what type of day I am also counting my blessings!!!

And now I’ve started my Christmas shopping….on-line of course! Oh and the Pre-lit Christmas tree is up…now I just need to get it decorated…any volunteers :)

Another Fabulous Doctor: The Oncologist

I went for my first appointment with the Oncologist. I liked her very much; she is very nice, and very thorough. She spent a lot of time with me going over my medical history and explaining the treatment. She also examined me. She ordered some blood work to check many things including my blood count, iron, B12, and hormone levels. She is very concerned about how the chemo will affect my crohns disease, especially the fistula which is considered an ongoing infection. She wants me on the flagel during the treatment to try to prevent a flare. She is going to work with my GI and watch me very closely. She will give me shots to boost my blood count. She is worried that I will be more susceptible to lower blood counts. She may also tweak my crohns meds because some may not be compatible with the chemo. I have to have a PET Scan first for a baseline and to check on a spot on the sternum that the MRI showed. The Bone Scan found it to be nothing but the PET Scan will make sure. A week after that I go back to the Oncologist to get the script for the flagel and a wig and to schedule the procedure to insert a port into my chest. When all that is done (hopefully in 2 weeks) I will start the treatments. I will have a 3 hour infusion every 3 weeks for 3 to 4 months. The chemo cocktail will be a combination of Taxotere and Cytoxan. She will also give me something for nausea.

I am doing my exercises and the range of motion and strength in my arms is slowly improving. I am a little impatient about that. I feel like I should be progressing faster. I feel like everyone else would be fine and back to their normal activities by now. I’m still having good days and bad days. Some of the bad days involve my crohns which just makes everything worse. I still wear my jammies all day when I don’t have to go anywhere. I only have a few button down shirts so I save them for when I leave the house.

I mostly just have a tight feeling in my chest and I still have a lot of numb areas. I can definitely feel the expanders in my chest and they feel very strange and sometimes uncomfortable. Its really strange to feel the muscle flexing over top of them when I reach for something or even when I’m typing. The extra skin near the armpits is very uncomfortable. Some days it feels like it has moved further under my armpit (especially on my right side) and when my arm comes down on it there is some soreness. I’m glad tho that the extra skin is there, its one less thing that has to stretch. I just can’t wait for it to start being a boob again.

After my appointment on Friday we stopped at my lovely niece KAS’s house. This was the first time I went to visit someone. It was so nice to sit and visit her and her beautiful baby girl. PRS put her arms up for me to pick her up and I almost forgot and did. Its so hard not to scoop her up and give her hugs and kisses. Then Saturday we ventured to my niece CRSA’s house for my sister-in-laws birthday party. It was so nice to visit with most of my family and some friends. In about a month I hope to be dancing (or at least watching everyone else dance) at my niece CSE’s wedding.

I LOVE MY FAMILY!!!