Hello February

O Lord, my God,

I cried out to You,

and You healed me.

--Psalm 30:3

This month (the 8th) will be one year since my last chemo! PTL I'm feeling great (except for still being tired all the time but I think that has more to do with the Crohns) I do still feel like I have chemo brain. Some days I feel like that is getting worse instead of better ugh. I have to search for some brain boosting ideas.

I've been doing good with my healthier diet. I've lost a few pounds and I haven't even started the exercising yet. I have to start that :/ I've been having too much fun with baby G and I've been working on getting pictures and art work hung. I've found some great decorating and craft blogs. I'll be posting some pictures on my other blog if your interested. Another goal this year is to spend less. So I'm not going to buy anything that I can make myself and if its not on sale or I don't have a coupon its not for me :) Wish me luck!

xoxo

1 YEAR CANCER FREE!!!

Is it really possible that it has been 1 year since my double mastectomy? 365 days without Cancer!!!
When I think back to last October I do remember all the emotions all the anxiety about the diagnoses, surgery, and treatments but what I remember most is the tremendous love, prayers, and support of my family and friends. I was never alone in the hospital. Every time I opened my eyes someone was by my side. Every doctors appointment my husband or sisters or nieces would go with me (sometimes all of them :). Every four hour chemo treatment went by quickly with them by my side talking and laughing as if we were sitting around a table having tea. In the spring my sons college baseball coach had a pink ribbon put on the teams game hats and gave me a hat to wear to the games. The love and support continues even 1 year later. People have made donations in my name, hit home runs for a cure, dedicated a pink out high school field hockey game, and on the 29th some of my nieces and I will be walking in the American Cancer Society's Making Strides Against Breast Cancer 5K walk.

Here are just a few pictures from the past year:

Me and my boys after surgery...love them so much!







First Chemo





Hospital for 3 days after first chemo...I'm ready to go home





Hair Hair Long Beautiful Hair.............









Last Chemo...Dance with me!











Growing back even more beautiful



Pink Out Game!



I'll post pictures of the walk next time.
xoxo

3 Down 1 To Go!

I had my third chemo and yeah it went better than the last two. I had the same amount of heartburn, muscle and joint pain, and exhaustion. My blood pressure, heart rate, and temperature all elevated. I waited on pins and needles for the horrible diarrhea to start and right on schedule it seemed to be starting (Sunday night and Monday morning). I followed my oncologist’s instructions and the week after the chemo (the Monday that the diarrhea was increasing) I went in for fluids. I was feeling horrible as usual and not looking forward to the week of running to the bathroom and going back for more needle sticks and more fluid. Then…Monday afternoon and evening seemed normal. Wow could it be…no I won’t get my hopes up. I went to see the oncologist on Tuesday and still so far that morning things were good. We were both very excited so we canceled the fluids for the rest of the week and waited. If the diarrhea increased again I needed to call and come in for fluids. Praise the Lord it did not increase and I actually feel good and my next and last chemo isn’t till Feb. 8th. Oh please let that one go as well!

I went to the Look Good Feel Better class offered by the American Cancer Society. It was wonderful and I highly recommend it for anyone who is going through cancer treatment. It was a small class of only 4 ladies and we each got a tote full of beauty products that were donated by many well known cosmetic companies. We went through the steps of cleansing, moisturizing, applying makeup, nail and skin care, and then learned about wigs and tying scarves. There were wigs and scarves and hats to try on. All in all it was very fun and informative. I can tell you tho that I am very glad that (so far) I haven’t completely lost my eyebrows. They are much thinner but I still have enough. Why am I so glad about that??? I am very very very bad at drawing on eyebrows!
xoxo

Fluids, Fluids, Fluids, or Not???

I really should not wait so long between posts because I can’t remember everything that happened??? Well I’ll give it my best shot. I had my second chemo on the 28th (the lower dose). While it did go better then the first one (I at least didn’t end up in the hospital) I basically had the same symptoms within the same time frame. First the increase in diarrhea, the awful aches and pains, elevated temp., blood pressure, and heart rate. This time I took pain pills to ease the pain. The one improvement was that my fistula didn’t flare and I didn’t have nearly as much bleeding with the diarrhea. The day of chemo they gave me extra fluids and had me come in the next two days for more fluids. It was a holiday weekend so I went 3 days without fluids. Unfortunately I was not able to enjoy New Years Eve. That was one of my worst days and I was in bed by 10:30. We are going to have a redo sometime soon :) Because I continued to have severe diarrhea I did what they told me to do. I called and came in for more fluids that Monday after the New Year. The nurse told me if I continued to have severe diarrhea to call in the morning and come in again. I did so I called and came in. The one male nurse (I’ll call him nurse jackwagon), who doesn’t usually have me as a patient, came over and said “We all talked this morning and are wondering what to do with you?” (Really!) He told me that I can’t just call and come in for fluids when I’m not on the schedule. (You mean what they told me to do. Meanwhile the room is practically empty so I’m pretty sure I wasn’t jamming up their schedule.) Then he proceeds to tell me that I don’t look dehydrated and if we want the diarrhea to stop we shouldn’t be pumping in more fluids. I said that I thought the purpose was to prevent dehydration so that I don’t end up back in the hospital and that when I was in the hospital the diarrhea improved while I was on fluids. He then tells me (and this is very funny because a nurse should have some idea of what crohns disease is and the symptoms) that I need to do things at home to stay hydrated, that I need to eat foods that bind! I almost laughed right in his face. I said that I have crohns disease and there are no foods that bind me. He said I need to drink lots of fluids. I told him that I do. I drink lots and lots of water in addition to juice and milk. He asked if I drank coffee and I said no I might have 1 cup of tea a day. He said well you shouldn’t drink tea because it is a diuretic, or anything with caffeine. I told him I never drink anything with caffeine. He asked me how many times I went the day before I said 16 (you jackwagon). He was determined to convince me that my diarrhea was my fault. He said well if you are going to come in for fluids we need to put you on a schedule, how about Mon. Wed. Fri. I said fine. This lovely conversation was on a Tuesday so he said not to come in tomorrow just wait till Friday and then next week they will put me on for Mon. Wed. Fri. I told nurse jackwagon that since I have an appointment with Dr. A (the oncologist) on Tuesday I won’t come on Monday. I’ll just ask her on Tuesday what exactly I should do. Before I left the other nurse told me if I still had severe diarrhea to call and come in…Really??? So like a good little patient I went back on Friday and yes my diarrhea was still severe. Nurse Jackwagon didn’t come anywhere near me. When I was done the nurse said if you continue to have severe diarrhea to call, they have a doctor on call all weekend. Nurse Jackwagon really made me feel like I was being ridiculous and that I was a nuisance. At this point I am determined to never call again no matter what is happening.

I went on Tuesday to see the oncologist and she said my blood work has been good. She asked about the diarrhea and I told her exactly how many times a day I was going, when it starts, and how long it lasts (I’ve been keeping track). I told her I was confused about what to do as far as the fluids go, that I was doing what I was told and calling to go in when the diarrhea was severe, but the nurse said I shouldn’t be doing that and needed to be on a schedule. She looked everything over and she said based on when the diarrhea starts she would have the nurses put me on the schedule for the Mon. Wed. Fri. Mon. the week after my chemo. She also said I’m going to write in here that you can call if the diarrhea is severe and you need to come in for more. (Yeah right I’ll call and then be treated like I’m overreacting, no thank you) She said she wanted to push forward and do two more treatments like planned. She also wants to see me again in two weeks to make sure I’m doing ok. I can’t wait till this is over.

Oh the other funny thing is that in the middle of all this I called my GI doctor to see if I could take anything to help with the diarrhea. He prescribed Lomotil and told me if it didn’t help to call and they would arrange for me to come in and get fluids!!!

The good news is that just like the last time I am at the point where my poo is back to normal and I am feeling better (except for being completely exhausted). My next chemo is on the 18th and then only one more after that. I CAN DO THIS!!!
Later that same day that I saw the oncologist I went to Jiffy Boob for a fill up. He is very happy with my progress. I’m amazed at how big my new boobs are getting (I think I’m still less than half the size I use to be but I was quite big before :). I actually have some nice cleavage going on!!!

I registered for a class through the American Cancer Society. It’s called Look Good Feel Better. It’s a class to teach you how to care for your skin and apply makeup while you are going through chemo. I’m looking forward to that. Just about all the hair on my head is gone but I still have my eyebrows. The area where I always plucked is not growing anymore hair. I have lost some eyelashes but I still have enough that most people wouldn’t notice. I have no hair under my arms Yeah and the hair on my legs has stopped growing so I don’t have to shave them either Yeah!!! I’ll let you know how the class goes.

xoxo

The Post I Forgot to Post!?!

I started this post after Christmas and then forgot to post it (chemo brain) so here it is :)
Once again this is on both blogs :p

Being home and hydrated made me feel very good. I haven’t had much energy but I also haven’t had much pain and I’m back to my normal for me poo routine. The fistula has also been behaving.

My hair started falling out (2 weeks after 1st chemo) so we had a little buzz cut event. My boys already have buzz cuts and B and J’s friend Jeff needed a trim so J buzzed Jeff first and then B. Then off with my hair :( but I have to say it doesn’t look that bad. J already looks a lot like me and now we look like twins hahaha. We took pictures but I don’t think I’ll post those. I went to pick up my wig the next day and it is wonderful. The color and style are just like my real hair. People will never guess it is a wig (if they don’t already know that is)

I was very disappointed to miss my beautiful niece CSD’s wedding. I just wasn’t feeling well enough and my doctors don’t want me to be around any large crowds to prevent being exposed to germs. Thankfully I have the most wonderful family in the world. My niece CRSA and my sister CAE sent me pictures during the ceremony and reception….THEN my amazing, beautiful, wonderful niece and brand new bride CSD, brand new hubby N, and her Mom (sister CAE) came to my house on Christmas Eve to reenact the wedding reception. With the wedding dress on, Mother of the bride dress on, bouquets in hand; they came down my staircase escorted by my son (in shorts and a tee-shirt hahaha.) I cried! I also dressed for the occasion and wore my wig. They brought a center piece, snacks, cookies, and cake. We took lots and lots of pictures, and then we ate, and the bride and groom cut the cake. My beautiful niece KRS and brother RJS and sister in law RJS were also in attendance. I can’t even find the words to express how wonderful and special this day was for me. I love you all so much xoxo.

I finished my online Christmas shopping but everyone got a lot less than normal. They weren’t disappointed tho because they are wonderful. Hubby wrapped everything for me on Christmas Eve evening…nothing like waiting till the last min. (of course I do that just about every Christmas ;) This year we did a 2 fishes Christmas Eve Dinner (as opposed to the 7 fishes). Christmas morning was very nice. We opened our presents and then went to CRA’s for a wonderful Christmas morning breakfast. The rest of the day was relaxing. Hubby cooked a nice Christmas Ham dinner and we watched our boys play Wii. I use to be good at these games but apparently it’s not like riding a bicycle!

xoxoxoxoxo
Love, Laugh, and Always know where the nearest bathroom is

Think Again

(This post will appear on both my blogs…so if you follow both you only need to read this one today :)

The bad days after chemo continued with all the aches and pains and constant diarrhea, bleeding, and fistula problems. On Sunday my temperature was back up to 101.5 and my heart rate was high. My hubby called the oncologist on call and he of course wanted me to go to the emergency room. So off I went thinking they would draw some blood, check me out, and send me home…Think again!!! Not only was my temp. and heart rate elevated, my blood pressure was high also. Their major concerns were of course infection. They put me on a heart monitor, drew lots of blood, started me on fluids, and did a chest x-ray. The next concern was “did the chemo flare the crohns?” If you haven’t guessed already they admitted me. They said they wanted to keep an eye on me for the next 24 hours. They gave me an IV antibiotic and settled me into a room and hung an isolation sign on the door…no germs in…no germs out! They increased the dose of Flagel. Clear liquids only and a pelvic CT Scan in the morning. They also hung another sigh behind me to alert other nurses



A precaution due to the lack of lymph nodes in both upper arms

I got absolutely no sleep that night. My IV pump (aka Fabio)





KAS don't look at the next picture :)




was SO LOUD. If I had something nearby resembling a baseball bat I would have beat the crap out of it. Around 4:00am I finally just turned the TV on. Early Monday I had my CT Scan and was expecting to get some real food but they still had me on clear liquids. When the GI from my group who was doing rounds and who I didn’t like at all came in (not my GI by the way) she was #1 rude to my husband and #2 gave me a hard time about letting me have a general or even a soft diet. Lets see…you want the diarrhea to go away but if all that goes in is liquid then ummmm what do you think is going to come out??? Besides that I know my body better than anyone esp. someone who has only looked at me for 5 minutes. I could see if I were in pain or had no appetite. She finally agreed to let me try a general diet and if things got worse I would have to go back to liquids. So she leaves and guess what??? She doesn’t write the order for a general diet. The nurse was wonderful. She kept trying to call and get an order. Of course the beotch would not call back. Four calls and hours later another doctor from the group called back and gave her the order. He said start with a general and if I have a problem tweak it. THANK YOU. In the mean time many other doctors came in, my PCP, the infectious disease doctor, and oncologist who all agreed I needed to stay another day. My white count was high but that was most likely due to the chemo. My potassium was low so they gave me some to drink :( Now if you’ve never had liquid potassium you’re lucky because it tastes like crap. After gagging my way through I got about ¾’s of it down.

Fluids, fluids, and more fluids = lots of peeing. Hubby brought me my iPod so that I could plug my ears with Christmas music during the night (to drown out Fabio). It worked…I slept very well. Tuesday was another full day of IV fluids. Fabio and I are becoming very close…he follows me around everywhere. They are still waiting on blood work results to rule out certain infections. The GI beotch doctor hasn’t been back, just her PA who is very nice. They are leaning towards this not being a crohns flare but just a bad time with the chemo. But just to be sure they want me to have a pelvic ultrasound tomorrow…yes another night with Fabio. The fluids have been very helpful. I haven’t had any muscle or bone pain since they started them. I definitely was severely dehydrated. I slept well again with my Christmas music. Wednesday morning I went down for the ultrasound. It turns out the CT Scan showed a little something something near the uterus and they wanted a closer look. Well if they would have said something I could have told them it was probably the same little something they saw on my CT Scan in the spring which turned out to be fluid in my fallopian tube…that’s exactly what it was. The infectious disease doctor came in and said I was negative for all the infections they were testing for but thought they might keep me for a few more days. NOOOOOOOO. My oncologist came in and decided that she did not want me to have the port put in. She is going to reduce the dose of chemo and have me come in early that day and if I appear to be dehydrated again they will give me fluids and if need be more fluids between then and the next chemo. If however I have another bad time with the chemo they will probably not do anymore. Then my PCP came in and said I could go home YAY. I got myself dressed and waited for my discharge instructions and the nurse says your potassium is still low so after I get that for you you can go. NOOOOOOO…she comes back with a pill…are you kidding me…this comes in a pill??? Where was your stupid pill a few days ago when I was gagging??? I took it and then on my way to Home Sweet Home!!!

Xoxoxo
Love, Laugh, and Always know where the nearest bathroom is

99.9%

First let me just say that if you are reading this and you have the exact same Breast Cancer diagnosis, surgery, reconstruction, and treatment I am 99.9% sure you will not have the same experience as me. I have the unfortunate complication of having Crohns Disease and all ITS complications.

I am 99.9% sure I am going to look wicked cute in my new wig…broke but cute. Yes wigs are expensive, especially real hair ones but since I will be wearing it for a year or more I want it to last. I went for a fitting and tried on several wigs. Including a blonde one :) (I have very dark hair, almost black) Needless to say the blonde one did NOT look good!!! I would never do that anyways because I love my dark hair. The wig master has ordered my wig, it will be a similar style and color to how I wear my real locs. All the wigs arrive long and are styled at the second fitting. I go on Tuesday. I will post a pic.

I am also 99.9% sure that this past Thursday and Friday were the worst days of my life!!! I had my first chemo on Monday. The treatment itself went very well. My hubby and sister CAE were there with me. I took my pink snuggie which I started having all my loved ones sign.

a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQwQhsPNKN-M9M8X02eWS1aER33TcWhxnHY2nufyyEn1w39zP7oiY_NBWMMgloiVgk_6P0GmJmWxXIdhjIhLsm-9F9y9IE-KQn6qmVDFr9gPKezE5KCQaPNRzLJ-xb_uCFfTaRuZpPuVoL/s1600/1206001057.jpg">

We were there about 4 hours. I don’t have my port in yet so the nurse started an IV in my left arm. (Warning KAS…scroll past this picture)



I was very tired that day and the next and I had an increase in diarrhea. Then Wed. night I started to feel horrible, even more diarrhea now and the constant diarrhea seemed to flare the fistula. That night every inch of my body hurt. It was like tiny shards of glass racing through my body stabbing me. The pain and diarrhea and and fistula flare continued Thurs. which was the day I had a consult appointment with the surgeon who was suppose to put the chemo port in the next day. My heart rate was high and I had a slight temperature so needless to say they postponed that procedure until December 28th before my 2nd chemo. Friday the muscle and joint pain eased up a little but I had bouts of nausea and esophageal spasms and stomach/intestinal cramping. It felt like my entire digestive tract was in a knot. I’ve continued to have moderate diarrhea with occasional spasms. The fistula is starting to feel better but is still making it clear that he is there and not going anywhere. I have a call in to my GI (who won’t be back in the office till Monday) and I’ve spoken to the oncologist (the surgeon called her too) I’ll have my blood checked on Monday and see the oncologist on Tuesday. My temp. is back to normal and my heart rate has lowered. I’m hoping I’m on my way back to feeling normal (for me) for the next few weeks before I have to go through it all over again.

xoxoxoxo

I don’t know when I’ve felt so popular!

Take a look at my week ahead:
Saturday – Wig consultation.
Monday – 1st Chemo (Today)
Tuesday – Dr. Jiffy Boob
Thursday – Consult w the surgeon who is putting in my chemo port
Friday – Chemo port outpatient surgery
Friday night - Highlight of my week *drum roll please* Christmas Movie night with us girls :)YAY

There is something wrong with this picture tho. I have to drag myself out to all these doctors and places. Wouldn’t it be easier for them to all come to me? I could just sit in a nice comfy chair and yell NEXT…see how they like sitting in a waiting room waiting for me bahhhahahaha. No Sweetpea there is no Santa Claus who will bring doctors to you. Even if there were they would just clog up your chimney and there would be all kinds of nasty needles and shiny torture tools clanking onto the hearth.

Well this past week wasn’t real great. I had my first of two iron infusions on Monday. It went well and wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. They set me up in a nice recliner and started me on an IV drip. Then the nurse came over and slowly pushed the Iron right into the vein. It just felt cold. I hung around for about 10 minutes to make sure there were no adverse reactions and I was on my way. So what does a girl do after an Iron infusion??? Shop! My sister and I went shopping for hats for my hairless days. I found some very cute ones too. I was pretty exhausted when I got home but felt pretty good otherwise…till the next day. Double Wow muscle and joint pain…Ouch. It was the worst in my right hip and it lasted for two days and contrary to popular belief the iron did not give me a wonderful feeling of more energy. I did however start feeling better just in time for my second infusion on Thursday. The good news is so far I haven’t had the muscle or joint pain and I do have a feeling that today I may have more energy than before…but then again it is only 10:00 am…I’m still hopeful tho :)

In an effort to not be so whiny I must say that things do seem to be coming along. I’ve been doing my finger crawl exercises up the wall and I can almost get my arms all the way up. I’m really not having any pain under my left arm anymore and a lot less pain under my right arm. When I start to do too much the pain under the right arm gets worse so I STOP :) I am getting use to the expanders too. They don’t feel as strange or as uncomfortable as before. Sleeping….well let’s not go there yet! So I will blog again with you soon and let you know how all this other stuff goes.

xoxoxoxo

Good Days and Bad Ones

I had a very busy couple days this week…since we last talked I’ve had my second jiffy boob appointment. The second fill went well. He didn’t pour the saline all over me this time :) I can definitely see some puffy little boobs forming. However one is filling up higher than the other :/ I know this is normal and they will eventually match. I still can’t really feel anything but some tightness while he is filling. Fortunately my right side is numb where the port is so the needle doesn’t hurt going in. Unfortunately the left side isn’t numb and does hurt blah. After this fill there seems to be a little less skin under the arms so that is more comfortable. I still have a hard time sleeping and found that sleeping on the living room couch is the most comfortable for now.

Last week I called to make my next appointment with the oncologist (she wanted to see me a week after my PET CT) but her office said she wasn’t available till the 12th of December. She (the doctor) called me back that afternoon and said to come to her office right after my PET CT and she would squeeze me in even if they had to page her during her rounds. She said she wanted to keep a close watch over me and boy is she. I haven’t even started my chemo yet! I had my PET CT on Wed. (the 24th) which took about an hour and a half then I went to see the oncologist. I was surprised to get in quickly but I had to wait a long time because she wanted to get the results of the PET CT before I left. They didn’t have a preliminary report ready so she called and told them she wanted it read NOW. We waited for them to call back and Praise the Lord it was clear. I am so relieved.

My blood work showed that my iron is low so I have to go on Monday and Thursday for an iron infusion. I also have to have the picc-line put in ASAP. I tried to schedule that when I got home from my appointment but they were gone and closed till after the holiday. They won’t be back in the office till Monday. I called the oncologists office and they are going to call on Monday to get it set up. The plan is to get all that done next week and start the chemo on December 6th. She wrote out all my scripts which included the Flagel for the fistula, a drug for nausea, the steroid to take the day before the day of and the day after the chemo, some Ativan to help me relax, and a cranial prosthesis aka wig :/ So that was a very very long day and by the time I got home I was so exhausted and in a good bit of pain. This upset me a lot because it was my babies 18th birthday and I was not able to celebrate it at all. I was curled up in a ball on my couch and the more I thought about it the more upset I got. If all that wasn’t bad enough I started to cry and hoped that B didn’t hear me but he did. He sat and hugged me for a while and that helped a lot but I still felt so bad that I couldn’t celebrate and on top of that I was sitting there crying. Hubby did go get him a cake and we sort of sang (he didn’t really want us to) and then we had cake. That horrible day was followed by Thanksgiving. J was home from school and I felt better but not great. Wonderful hubsie cooked the entire dinner (thankfully he is a good cook ;) and it was wonderful. Then the four of us watched some movies including Elf (one of my favorite Christmas movies). It was a wonderful day! I know I will continue to have good days and bad days but no matter what type of day I am also counting my blessings!!!

And now I’ve started my Christmas shopping….on-line of course! Oh and the Pre-lit Christmas tree is up…now I just need to get it decorated…any volunteers :)

Another Fabulous Doctor: The Oncologist

I went for my first appointment with the Oncologist. I liked her very much; she is very nice, and very thorough. She spent a lot of time with me going over my medical history and explaining the treatment. She also examined me. She ordered some blood work to check many things including my blood count, iron, B12, and hormone levels. She is very concerned about how the chemo will affect my crohns disease, especially the fistula which is considered an ongoing infection. She wants me on the flagel during the treatment to try to prevent a flare. She is going to work with my GI and watch me very closely. She will give me shots to boost my blood count. She is worried that I will be more susceptible to lower blood counts. She may also tweak my crohns meds because some may not be compatible with the chemo. I have to have a PET Scan first for a baseline and to check on a spot on the sternum that the MRI showed. The Bone Scan found it to be nothing but the PET Scan will make sure. A week after that I go back to the Oncologist to get the script for the flagel and a wig and to schedule the procedure to insert a port into my chest. When all that is done (hopefully in 2 weeks) I will start the treatments. I will have a 3 hour infusion every 3 weeks for 3 to 4 months. The chemo cocktail will be a combination of Taxotere and Cytoxan. She will also give me something for nausea.

I am doing my exercises and the range of motion and strength in my arms is slowly improving. I am a little impatient about that. I feel like I should be progressing faster. I feel like everyone else would be fine and back to their normal activities by now. I’m still having good days and bad days. Some of the bad days involve my crohns which just makes everything worse. I still wear my jammies all day when I don’t have to go anywhere. I only have a few button down shirts so I save them for when I leave the house.

I mostly just have a tight feeling in my chest and I still have a lot of numb areas. I can definitely feel the expanders in my chest and they feel very strange and sometimes uncomfortable. Its really strange to feel the muscle flexing over top of them when I reach for something or even when I’m typing. The extra skin near the armpits is very uncomfortable. Some days it feels like it has moved further under my armpit (especially on my right side) and when my arm comes down on it there is some soreness. I’m glad tho that the extra skin is there, its one less thing that has to stretch. I just can’t wait for it to start being a boob again.

After my appointment on Friday we stopped at my lovely niece KAS’s house. This was the first time I went to visit someone. It was so nice to sit and visit her and her beautiful baby girl. PRS put her arms up for me to pick her up and I almost forgot and did. Its so hard not to scoop her up and give her hugs and kisses. Then Saturday we ventured to my niece CRSA’s house for my sister-in-laws birthday party. It was so nice to visit with most of my family and some friends. In about a month I hope to be dancing (or at least watching everyone else dance) at my niece CSE’s wedding.

I LOVE MY FAMILY!!!

Bye Bye Cancer, Bye Bye Boobs

Cancer free, cancer free, it’s great to be cancer free!!!

Well I am officially cancer free (and for the moment boob free). My expanders are in place and I think I will be starting the filling process in a few weeks. I had my follow up appointment with the breast surgeon yesterday (which went well, more on that below) and I will see the plastic surgeon on Tuesday (I will be sure to let you know how that goes). During my short hospital stay they were very happy with how I was healing. Most of my pain has been in the armpit area (where the lymph nodes were removed) and where the drains are. I don’t remember a whole lot about my hospital stay except that my wonderful family was by my side the whole time. My hubby spent both nights with me which was a good thing because he spent most of that time scratching my itchy spots about every 30 seconds. The anesthesia and the morphine made me so itchy. During the day I felt like Cleopatra only instead of people on either side of me fanning they were scratching.

My surgery was Friday and I came home Sunday. Kind of quick but I was happy to go home until I got very car sick. That made for a horrible day. The doctor called in a script that was very helpful. Since then I have had good days and bad days. I think the pain medication makes me feel light headed and nauseous some times (not to mention giving me CRAZY dreams). Not having the full use of my arms is not much fun and very hard. I don’t have much range of motion right now. I have started doing my exercises so that should help. Showers are an interesting experience since the plastic surgeon doesn’t want me to get my incisions wet yet. I am not the most pleasant smelling person these days either. I am not allowed to use deodorant yet…blah. I can barely stand the smell of myself. My hubby, sister, and sister in law have spent the week taking care of me plus lots of company from family. Family and friends have also sent over lots of food which has been very helpful.

Right now I have a lot of numb areas. The most uncomfortable thing is the drains. I can’t wait to get those out. That will be up to the plastic surgeon.

I hadn’t looked at my boob-less chest yet and I was thinking of waiting till Halloween to check it out (I thought that would be appropriate :) but then I thought I better look before I see the breast surgeon in case I had any questions. Before I looked I imagined the worst thing I could. The reality was a little worse. Mainly all the extra skin. It doesn't bother me tho. As I said it is great to be cancer free. This of course will also improve as the plastic surgeon does his thing.

Speaking of the breast surgeon my appointment with him went well. The skin and incisions look very good. When you have breast tissue removed the surgeon leaves the skin very thin and sometimes the skin can die which makes the skin turn black. I have almost no areas of black. He said there may be some near the incision but it is hard to tell with all the steri-strips. The pathology is back. The tumor was a little bigger than they thought, 3cm not 2. The left side breast tissue and sentinel lymph nodes were all clear. One of the sentinel nodes on the right had a micro metastasis (a very small cluster of cancer cells, not enough to warrant going back in to take the rest of the nodes out). This will most likely change the chemo treatment a bit. I have an appointment with the Oncologist scheduled for November 12th. I will let you know how that goes too.